Saturday, August 13, 2005

I was afraid and then

...sat in a dark car in park on the main street where I grew into a grown-up, or, whoever it is I am now, for hours, talking between the gearshift and the glow of the dashboard clock while the local cop circled but did not stop.

Then I fell in love with my friends.

Then I drove all night and came home to this. I have been hallucinating dark birds. I have been searching my skin for your fingerprints. But today I was ready to go. I could have gone. I could have driven all the way to the shore. I had my red dress. I had my book in the bucket seat.

I am ready, and I have not always been.

One of you is struggling now, my friend, hurting in this awful summer. Take my strength. Let's pass it between us, take turns. There's enough. Here, you take this. Put your head here. Put your name in here. There's enough. You were afraid and then.